The things we do for love

First I would like to make it clear that I am not spilling my guts online because I want advice or sympathy.
I just need to get these things out and talking to the wall just has not made me feel any better so a blog post that does not talk back seems to be an answer for now.
Because Davíð and I are friends and because I practically melt to be around him I find myself hurting myself.
We decided to go see a movie and have coffee as friends, then he remembers that Monika really wanted him to come over tonight and really does not want to abandon her. So I find myself telling him it is not problem. He can have coffee with her and I will meet him for the movie after.
Part of me feels incredibly weak, but the fact is that I love him and I want him to be happy. Even if it feels like a knife through my heart to hear him say that she is expecting him, I know it would make him sad if I did not want him to go.
I know I could try to tell him what to do, I could try, but in the end it would not work and it is not what I want.
I want the husband I used to have, who had eyes only for me. The one who could not sleep at night when I was away, the one who came with me when I went out with my friends and I went with his friends.
I do not want to tell him that he can not see her. I know he wants to try to make this work in the long run, I do not know if it will. I think it is a very bad sign when he still wants to see her, but I am not the expert and only time will tell.
Who knows, April is a long time from now and a lot of this could change, but if they do not, then I do not want him back.
I do not want a husband that will choose to spend time with another women over me. I want someone 100%. Maybe that sounds a little greedy but I do not care.
If I can not have him as a 100% husband now then I guess I will settle for a 50% friend.
No wonder my stomach is so upset.