Davíð and I are doing OK now. We had a great weekend where I tired for a day and a half to get the old wax off my floors (finally deciding to just wax over, this is hardly worth the work involved) and Davíð switched a bunch of plugs for me. The apartment was full of these magic plug ins, a fade from some time ago, but this meant I could not plug anything in.
Today he set up the Internet for me so now I can blog all the time, this is great. My life is so much more open.
The only sad thing is that almost everyday I see something that shows the extent of betrayal was so much worse then I ever could have thought. Worse then my worst nightmares, and I have a lot of nightmares.
I know what I have to do, I have to be strong, look forward and move on in what ever direction that is. I should know better then to live in the past, but this does not make it hurt any less.
I just want to make things work, I want us to be happy. When we are together now, we are happy. Just as good or better then the old days, like when we first met.
Then some clear thought, memory or realization comes to my mind and I wonder if I am making a mistake. What am I getting myself into again.
This reminds me so much of the Jason situation, it is actually really scary because of that. I know Davíð is not Jason, but then again, I have learned that Davíð is not who I thought he was.
I could be the worlds worst judge of character ever.
I will not get into details, I suspect if I did you would call me stupid, maybe I am, but we used to be so happy and I can not walk away from that.
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