Really happy and really sad

I am happy to be pregnant and was really happy to hear that my sister in law is expecting as well. We have due dates only a few weeks apart.

I thought it would be so cool to be pregnant with someone else. Have the baby talks and have baby's the same age. Cousins that would always be the same age. Guaranteed friends for life.

It sounds like a fairy tale, and life is not a fairy tale.

The fact is we live 9 hours apart - our lives almost a world apart that only really comes together on holidays.

This was the same with my family in Canada. While I lived in Edmonton, most of my family lived about 7 hours a way.

Honestly, I rarely saw them and have not seen anyone in almost three years now.

It is more sad to know that When I was pregnant with Stefán my sister was pregnant with her first boy, Matt. They were born less then 3 months apart. They should have been guaranteed friends for life.

I wish she was here.

But we lived so far apart. It is true that when we did see each other they got along great. I have super funny pictures, but now they do not remember each other. Hardly even speak the same language. I do not know if they will ever be these perfect cousins I dreamed of. Certainly not with me living in Iceland.

So, this is the problem with marrying someone from another country. You can not have everything.

If we live in Saskatchewan, my boys will have a Grandpa, uncles, aunt and cousins the same age. I would have a sister to have coffee with, maybe be pregnant with again, a dad to have Christmas dinner with and brothers to fix stuff for me.

And Davíð would spend his days dreaming of Iceland.

While we live in Iceland the boys have another aunt and uncle, other cousins (also the same age), an Amma and an Afi. Davíð has a sister he looks up to so much and parents who would support him through anything.

And I spend my days dreaming of Canada and wondering if I will ever fit in here.

This all not even mentioning Davíð's family in Toronto.

This is not to say the everyone has not been great to me, really, it is amazing.

The point is, as the ties strengthen in Iceland, I feel like I am being pulled further and further from the rest.

After all there is only so many times you can show kids the same pictures and tell the same stories before they just stop listening and walk away.